Shoplifting

You can't even steal bio oil anymore
they keep the bottles hidden at the back of the store
makes me want to bring a pushchair up in that store
coz for everything you hide i am stealing 4

i do a shop in sainsburys every week
they are so honoured that they end up paying me
and i dont come cheap, I won't rob the basics range
its taste the difference for me all the way

I went to my boots with the "intention" of buying tweezers
my eyebrows were starting to look like a geezers
i thought 5 quid would be enough
but nooo they are only selling premium stuff
the most expensive tweezers in there were 20 quid
and "because i'm worth it" guess what i did

I shop in American Apparell quite a lot
but, its such an expensive shop
so let me be real, i'll make you deal
i'll buy 2 things and get one as a steal

security tags don't concern me at all
i bop to the beeps ignoring securitys call
I look back and flash them a smile
they smile back & wave me off everytime

I don't shoplift because i'm poor
I do it for fun, and anyway their insured
a cleptomaniac that cannot be cured
there is nothing i steal that i cannot afford...