I don't seek to inspire
I don't assume I have a voice
I'm without free will
I don't pretend I have a choice
I'm faithless to the core
I have slammed that door
and furthermore
I don't believe in anything, anymore
I don't believe in belief
to believe is to doubt
I either know or I don't
evidence is paramount
I don't believe in trust
because I can't read minds
it's a silly human game
for which i have no time
the trust game hurts
when its designed to protect
and ends up destroying
what it's meant to correct
It's nonsense
because all you've done
is provided bullets
should they ever need
to use that gun...
Saturday 27 November 2010
Sunday 21 November 2010
The Moon Illusion
Love blinds
causes confusion
i liken loving you
to a moon illusion
because
like an incredible star
you always feel closer
then you actually are
Under harvest moon
I got to reap what i had sowed
wishing the illusion
stopped deluding
my soul windows
I wish to be the tide
that cannot be controlled
i'm fed up of playing
fuck the game, i fold...
causes confusion
i liken loving you
to a moon illusion
because
like an incredible star
you always feel closer
then you actually are
Under harvest moon
I got to reap what i had sowed
wishing the illusion
stopped deluding
my soul windows
I wish to be the tide
that cannot be controlled
i'm fed up of playing
fuck the game, i fold...
Friday 19 November 2010
The most powerful opponent
You really need to stop holding me down
I've won many a fight
but with you
I don't know how
You are just too strong
You are just plain wrong
you have turned me into
a bird without song
A bird without wings
envious of those who sing
attempts reveal
the diamond shine
of tears glistening
never trying for the fear
that i'll achieve
because if i do
i know you'll take it from me
why do you do this to me?
loving me as much as you do
it's such cruelty
what you keep putting me through
telling me i'm not deserving
that i'm not worthy
that i'll always be a servant
to the things that hurt me
things of which you are a component
and this makes you a very worthy opponent
but I'm ready now
so take me on if you dare
nows the time you're going down
along with my fear
It's the girl in the mirror
I wanna give her a slap
though if I get physical
she will surely crack
then i'll crack within
the evil twin will win
and i'll forever be crushed
by her destructive sins
I am better than that
i am better then her
she is a constant attack
on my sense of worth
I'm a rebel with cause
she's a rebel with none
if substance wins wars
I have already won...
I've won many a fight
but with you
I don't know how
You are just too strong
You are just plain wrong
you have turned me into
a bird without song
A bird without wings
envious of those who sing
attempts reveal
the diamond shine
of tears glistening
never trying for the fear
that i'll achieve
because if i do
i know you'll take it from me
why do you do this to me?
loving me as much as you do
it's such cruelty
what you keep putting me through
telling me i'm not deserving
that i'm not worthy
that i'll always be a servant
to the things that hurt me
things of which you are a component
and this makes you a very worthy opponent
but I'm ready now
so take me on if you dare
nows the time you're going down
along with my fear
It's the girl in the mirror
I wanna give her a slap
though if I get physical
she will surely crack
then i'll crack within
the evil twin will win
and i'll forever be crushed
by her destructive sins
I am better than that
i am better then her
she is a constant attack
on my sense of worth
I'm a rebel with cause
she's a rebel with none
if substance wins wars
I have already won...
The Mask...
Anger is the pride
before a fall
anger is a mask
that builds a wall
around emotions
that lay undiscussed
rage is camoflage, rage is lust...
before a fall
anger is a mask
that builds a wall
around emotions
that lay undiscussed
rage is camoflage, rage is lust...
Please
I said mister
please don't take my child
me & she are doing fine
I'll treat her fine & well
she is my charm
my little bell
the stake in my heart
the blood that heals
the one that's taught me
how to feel
something so small
has really changed me once and all
I would smell her breath
i've achieved her
there is nothing left
she is the hope
that soothes the pity
a calm in the chaos
of the city
So mister
please don't take my child
true in the past i ran wild
but i've seen alot
i've lived a life
and now she's all i've got
i can educate my little bean
to help her realise her dreams
I'll prove myself
to the jury
coz if i lose her
I am nothing but fury
Mister
please don't take my child
when you come by
we cling & cry
You know mothers not sane
but that doesn't mean
I'll be the same
all i have to do
are things not done with me
a sprinkle of nan
my unique quirks
and love every ounce of
her unique worth
Please give me that chance
this is one life
i will enhance
will you help me?
rid the man supressing me
but mister said "oh no"
"we don't think you can cope alone"
16
flat
young mums group
jewellry making
getting rid of baby weight
social services bullshit
friend bullshit
kid, fulltime job
supporting them
& that slob
taking all of his abuse
while pretending joy
you believed was truth
If I can't cope alone mister-no-one can
just give me a chance to fulfill my plan
I said mister
please don't take my child
don't take my hope
don't steal my cries
she filled the hollow, the gaping hole
captured parts, i thought were sold...
please don't take my child
me & she are doing fine
I'll treat her fine & well
she is my charm
my little bell
the stake in my heart
the blood that heals
the one that's taught me
how to feel
something so small
has really changed me once and all
I would smell her breath
i've achieved her
there is nothing left
she is the hope
that soothes the pity
a calm in the chaos
of the city
So mister
please don't take my child
true in the past i ran wild
but i've seen alot
i've lived a life
and now she's all i've got
i can educate my little bean
to help her realise her dreams
I'll prove myself
to the jury
coz if i lose her
I am nothing but fury
Mister
please don't take my child
when you come by
we cling & cry
You know mothers not sane
but that doesn't mean
I'll be the same
all i have to do
are things not done with me
a sprinkle of nan
my unique quirks
and love every ounce of
her unique worth
Please give me that chance
this is one life
i will enhance
will you help me?
rid the man supressing me
but mister said "oh no"
"we don't think you can cope alone"
16
flat
young mums group
jewellry making
getting rid of baby weight
social services bullshit
friend bullshit
kid, fulltime job
supporting them
& that slob
taking all of his abuse
while pretending joy
you believed was truth
If I can't cope alone mister-no-one can
just give me a chance to fulfill my plan
I said mister
please don't take my child
don't take my hope
don't steal my cries
she filled the hollow, the gaping hole
captured parts, i thought were sold...
Ordinary
In every form i'm a minority
hell sent on a path of low priority
I'm missing the tools to conform
so progressively
i'm ever more withdrawn
I want to connect, i want to relate
to be part of a collective fate
safety comes in many digits
and being a maverick has it's limits
I have dreams of being ordinary
quietly content to the point of boring
predictable, calm and steady
so gently paced, it causes snoring
I dream of having a cafe one day
just a normal cafe, where i fill my days
it may not be the path of wealth
but satisfaction is more pivitol to the self
I'm very open to trying new things
I wanna try normaility & all that brings
no thrills or unpredictable rides
serving only to speed up my limited time...
hell sent on a path of low priority
I'm missing the tools to conform
so progressively
i'm ever more withdrawn
I want to connect, i want to relate
to be part of a collective fate
safety comes in many digits
and being a maverick has it's limits
I have dreams of being ordinary
quietly content to the point of boring
predictable, calm and steady
so gently paced, it causes snoring
I dream of having a cafe one day
just a normal cafe, where i fill my days
it may not be the path of wealth
but satisfaction is more pivitol to the self
I'm very open to trying new things
I wanna try normaility & all that brings
no thrills or unpredictable rides
serving only to speed up my limited time...
A home...
It was a home without a heart
a home that callously tore me apart
the home that sowed the seed
blinding all to my basic need
evil was it's course
backed by a malevalent force
a rock & a hard place
choices that you have to make
it was a home that trembled my lip
as i lay aboard that sinking ship
a deviant past with no tomorrow
riding current waves of sorrow
It was a home of discontent
a home where years of hell i spent
it must have been cursed
evil always found us first
The home was autocratic
responsive fear was automatic
it's where i ballet danced
loud steps would incur a wrath
it's where i dared to hope
without it i could not have coped
in a home full of lies
a home where innocence cannot thrive
It was a home without a heart
a home that callously tore me apart
the home from which i flew
discovering joy & pastures new...
a home that callously tore me apart
the home that sowed the seed
blinding all to my basic need
evil was it's course
backed by a malevalent force
a rock & a hard place
choices that you have to make
it was a home that trembled my lip
as i lay aboard that sinking ship
a deviant past with no tomorrow
riding current waves of sorrow
It was a home of discontent
a home where years of hell i spent
it must have been cursed
evil always found us first
The home was autocratic
responsive fear was automatic
it's where i ballet danced
loud steps would incur a wrath
it's where i dared to hope
without it i could not have coped
in a home full of lies
a home where innocence cannot thrive
It was a home without a heart
a home that callously tore me apart
the home from which i flew
discovering joy & pastures new...
There's no place like home...
I could have paid off my debt
or bought a brand new phone
but I bought the red shoes
because there's no place like home
and i'm not speaking of bricks & mortar
but the body you nourish with food & water
that's your home because it has your heart
death befall's anyone without that part
My body literally has my back
and will protect me when under attack
It can defend by creating a shield
it can offend by the weight it can make you feel
My body also loves without words
but my bodys words can be a destroyer of worlds
in one vein its a loving embrace
the next it's a metaphorical slap in the face
my body can sink to the lowest of lows
nearly low enough to be rented for dough
I could of paid off my rent
or bought a dog a bone
but I bought the red shoes
because there's no place like home
This home's subject to wear & tear
till the time comes & it's no longer here
don't use & abuse if you cannot repair
don't miss the clues if it's in your face they stare
You only get one and if you fuck it up
you may find yourself stuck in a rut
and thats a shame, it's not what bodies are for
our hot bodies are built to endure
built to fight, built to surrender
built to be tough & built to be tender
built to strive for the very best
built to pass a magnitude of tests
I honour my body, I don't give it away
I don't need to spread the love in that way
I'll let the so-called players play
knowing it won't be me the players lay
once i strayed from the path of peace
I was beauty playing the beast
it was my body I abused the most
whilst seeking resolution & keeping hope
I could repent
for there are sins for which i have to attone
but i bought the red shoes
because there's no place like home
It's the red shoes I choose no matter the cost
for the only home that I never lost...
or bought a brand new phone
but I bought the red shoes
because there's no place like home
and i'm not speaking of bricks & mortar
but the body you nourish with food & water
that's your home because it has your heart
death befall's anyone without that part
My body literally has my back
and will protect me when under attack
It can defend by creating a shield
it can offend by the weight it can make you feel
My body also loves without words
but my bodys words can be a destroyer of worlds
in one vein its a loving embrace
the next it's a metaphorical slap in the face
my body can sink to the lowest of lows
nearly low enough to be rented for dough
I could of paid off my rent
or bought a dog a bone
but I bought the red shoes
because there's no place like home
This home's subject to wear & tear
till the time comes & it's no longer here
don't use & abuse if you cannot repair
don't miss the clues if it's in your face they stare
You only get one and if you fuck it up
you may find yourself stuck in a rut
and thats a shame, it's not what bodies are for
our hot bodies are built to endure
built to fight, built to surrender
built to be tough & built to be tender
built to strive for the very best
built to pass a magnitude of tests
I honour my body, I don't give it away
I don't need to spread the love in that way
I'll let the so-called players play
knowing it won't be me the players lay
once i strayed from the path of peace
I was beauty playing the beast
it was my body I abused the most
whilst seeking resolution & keeping hope
I could repent
for there are sins for which i have to attone
but i bought the red shoes
because there's no place like home
It's the red shoes I choose no matter the cost
for the only home that I never lost...
Nobody
I'm the one who both fought & flew
The one who knew without any clue
the one who made a barrage of mistakes
whilst surrounded by a stigma too hard to shake
I'm the one with the gun in hand
ready to shoot all who fuck with my plan
I guess that gun should be pointed at me
I've fucked myself more than anybody
I'm the one who marched to a beat of thunder
the body stood strong but the spirit's asunder
the body works hard looking for parts
desperately seeking to be enhanced
There are so many memories I repressed
the question who am i is more like a test
What is my value, what is my cost
how can I know this when so much of me is lost
am I a lamb to the slaughter
the governments daughter
a destructive surplus presence
within these borders?
the childhood whore
the emotional chore
the one with her bowl out begging for more?
most likely
i'm all of the above & more
refined like a lady
yet, explicitly raw
all in all i'm undefined
I'm the contract nature won't sign
i am the one who both fought & flew
the one commanding respect thats overdue
but i'll die waiting
because i am nobody:
nobody
nobody
nobody
hoping for that somebody who's nobody too...
The one who knew without any clue
the one who made a barrage of mistakes
whilst surrounded by a stigma too hard to shake
I'm the one with the gun in hand
ready to shoot all who fuck with my plan
I guess that gun should be pointed at me
I've fucked myself more than anybody
I'm the one who marched to a beat of thunder
the body stood strong but the spirit's asunder
the body works hard looking for parts
desperately seeking to be enhanced
There are so many memories I repressed
the question who am i is more like a test
What is my value, what is my cost
how can I know this when so much of me is lost
am I a lamb to the slaughter
the governments daughter
a destructive surplus presence
within these borders?
the childhood whore
the emotional chore
the one with her bowl out begging for more?
most likely
i'm all of the above & more
refined like a lady
yet, explicitly raw
all in all i'm undefined
I'm the contract nature won't sign
i am the one who both fought & flew
the one commanding respect thats overdue
but i'll die waiting
because i am nobody:
nobody
nobody
nobody
hoping for that somebody who's nobody too...
Shackled
Love is a prison
and my mind holds the key
but if love is in the mind
How can I be free?
Love builds but love also wrecks
and activates an abandonment complex
I thought i was born ready for anything
Though I may never be ready for a diamond ring
They signify death & with that I choke
I can except love without the bullshit hope
though it must be great to have stopped finding
to love someone so much you'd make it
legally binding
though I don't need that promise in all sincerity
no-one ever loved me unconditionally
no matter what is the impossible dream
and a writer prefers fantasy over the real
In reality i do have a tortured soul
invariably we end up alone
and it will probably be my fault too
I've always played this love game without rules
I'm a love anarchist
and alone in the abyss
and i'm in chains
because I don't wanna feel like this
I wish I was on the scale of psychopathy
then feeling wouldn't obstruct me
I was jealous of mum for being on that scale
but that is an even more restrictive jail
so i'm greatful for that loving ability
but just once I'd like to be set free
attracting love isn't the problem that i'm having
it's that I attract love without understanding
That blind love doesn't satisfy
inevitably those ties painfully die
I cannot invest my entire heart
when i can see the finish line right at the start
What you want is what makes you weak
injects pain causing your eyes to leak
I hate all my wants & despise my needs
If i didn't want love i'd have all i need...
and my mind holds the key
but if love is in the mind
How can I be free?
Love builds but love also wrecks
and activates an abandonment complex
I thought i was born ready for anything
Though I may never be ready for a diamond ring
They signify death & with that I choke
I can except love without the bullshit hope
though it must be great to have stopped finding
to love someone so much you'd make it
legally binding
though I don't need that promise in all sincerity
no-one ever loved me unconditionally
no matter what is the impossible dream
and a writer prefers fantasy over the real
In reality i do have a tortured soul
invariably we end up alone
and it will probably be my fault too
I've always played this love game without rules
I'm a love anarchist
and alone in the abyss
and i'm in chains
because I don't wanna feel like this
I wish I was on the scale of psychopathy
then feeling wouldn't obstruct me
I was jealous of mum for being on that scale
but that is an even more restrictive jail
so i'm greatful for that loving ability
but just once I'd like to be set free
attracting love isn't the problem that i'm having
it's that I attract love without understanding
That blind love doesn't satisfy
inevitably those ties painfully die
I cannot invest my entire heart
when i can see the finish line right at the start
What you want is what makes you weak
injects pain causing your eyes to leak
I hate all my wants & despise my needs
If i didn't want love i'd have all i need...
Way back when...
Way back when i started weilding the pen
from around the time i made barbie fuck ken
my soul windows reflected a chaotic mind
a state of emergency ever since i was a child
got over childhood wars with the power of dreams
settled childhood scores with excessive means
i'd panic, then shit would start to get real frantic
do someone over like a satanic mechanic
while i'm
Ducking & diving, fucking & skiving
striving for the best whilst barely survivng
stress kept piling but i gotta keep smiling
couldn't let that mask slip so i'm continually hiding
life is about timing you're either falling or climbing
then when every so often i can feel my soul rising
i start self defining
the self I need to keep finding
& look upon the wicked web that i am designing!
I'm authorised to spit prophecies like socrates
test me & i'll infect like a disease
when it's time for confrontation all will know
coz the pressure drops quicker
than a thong on a hoe
I am a ghetto child, I am a curse
& i'm doubtful of a better place beyond the hearse
The world to us animals just seems perverse
& god is nothing but the word dog in reverse
from around the time i made barbie fuck ken
my soul windows reflected a chaotic mind
a state of emergency ever since i was a child
got over childhood wars with the power of dreams
settled childhood scores with excessive means
i'd panic, then shit would start to get real frantic
do someone over like a satanic mechanic
while i'm
Ducking & diving, fucking & skiving
striving for the best whilst barely survivng
stress kept piling but i gotta keep smiling
couldn't let that mask slip so i'm continually hiding
life is about timing you're either falling or climbing
then when every so often i can feel my soul rising
i start self defining
the self I need to keep finding
& look upon the wicked web that i am designing!
I'm authorised to spit prophecies like socrates
test me & i'll infect like a disease
when it's time for confrontation all will know
coz the pressure drops quicker
than a thong on a hoe
I am a ghetto child, I am a curse
& i'm doubtful of a better place beyond the hearse
The world to us animals just seems perverse
& god is nothing but the word dog in reverse
Scars...
I've got many scars
I pretend they are stars
collectively a constellation
& my knee is Mars
I should do a dot to dot
or count how much i've got
it paints a picture that says
i have been through alot
Each one tells a story
of hurt & glory
self destruction & abuse
of the battered territory
a scar on my face
22 years & barely there
is a constant reminder
mothers do not always care
they run from my head
to the bottom of my leg
but my back escaped
it lies about the tears i've shed
I've been bitten by
mosquitoes, humans & dogs
I've been beaten by
nutters & wannabe thugs
I have a stab wound on my breast
but the fault is mine
what the hell did i expect
14, playing with knives
it was in my inside pocket
I forgot it was there
my friend grabbed me as a joke
then i felt my bra tear
there are too many scars
to mention here
but i don't mind discussing it
over a beer
i'm bow legged and pigeon toed
scatter-brained & accident prone
I will get more scars
and i'm overdue a broken bone
I will gather many more
in years to come
especially if i keep drinking
Carribean rum
scars are nature's tattoos
and I love them all
they are evidence of strength
and the fact that soldiers often fall
life scars and that i almost embrace
coz any type of pain
has got to be a disgrace
life scars and that i fully embrace
but not my exposed
& irreplaceble face...
I pretend they are stars
collectively a constellation
& my knee is Mars
I should do a dot to dot
or count how much i've got
it paints a picture that says
i have been through alot
Each one tells a story
of hurt & glory
self destruction & abuse
of the battered territory
a scar on my face
22 years & barely there
is a constant reminder
mothers do not always care
they run from my head
to the bottom of my leg
but my back escaped
it lies about the tears i've shed
I've been bitten by
mosquitoes, humans & dogs
I've been beaten by
nutters & wannabe thugs
I have a stab wound on my breast
but the fault is mine
what the hell did i expect
14, playing with knives
it was in my inside pocket
I forgot it was there
my friend grabbed me as a joke
then i felt my bra tear
there are too many scars
to mention here
but i don't mind discussing it
over a beer
i'm bow legged and pigeon toed
scatter-brained & accident prone
I will get more scars
and i'm overdue a broken bone
I will gather many more
in years to come
especially if i keep drinking
Carribean rum
scars are nature's tattoos
and I love them all
they are evidence of strength
and the fact that soldiers often fall
life scars and that i almost embrace
coz any type of pain
has got to be a disgrace
life scars and that i fully embrace
but not my exposed
& irreplaceble face...
Shoplifting
You can't even steal bio oil anymore
they keep the bottles hidden at the back of the store
makes me want to bring a pushchair up in that store
coz for everything you hide i am stealing 4
i do a shop in sainsburys every week
they are so honoured that they end up paying me
and i dont come cheap, I won't rob the basics range
its taste the difference for me all the way
I went to my boots with the "intention" of buying tweezers
my eyebrows were starting to look like a geezers
i thought 5 quid would be enough
but nooo they are only selling premium stuff
the most expensive tweezers in there were 20 quid
and "because i'm worth it" guess what i did
I shop in American Apparell quite a lot
but, its such an expensive shop
so let me be real, i'll make you deal
i'll buy 2 things and get one as a steal
security tags don't concern me at all
i bop to the beeps ignoring securitys call
I look back and flash them a smile
they smile back & wave me off everytime
I don't shoplift because i'm poor
I do it for fun, and anyway their insured
a cleptomaniac that cannot be cured
there is nothing i steal that i cannot afford...
they keep the bottles hidden at the back of the store
makes me want to bring a pushchair up in that store
coz for everything you hide i am stealing 4
i do a shop in sainsburys every week
they are so honoured that they end up paying me
and i dont come cheap, I won't rob the basics range
its taste the difference for me all the way
I went to my boots with the "intention" of buying tweezers
my eyebrows were starting to look like a geezers
i thought 5 quid would be enough
but nooo they are only selling premium stuff
the most expensive tweezers in there were 20 quid
and "because i'm worth it" guess what i did
I shop in American Apparell quite a lot
but, its such an expensive shop
so let me be real, i'll make you deal
i'll buy 2 things and get one as a steal
security tags don't concern me at all
i bop to the beeps ignoring securitys call
I look back and flash them a smile
they smile back & wave me off everytime
I don't shoplift because i'm poor
I do it for fun, and anyway their insured
a cleptomaniac that cannot be cured
there is nothing i steal that i cannot afford...
Living in Frefall
I live in freefall
Constantly in fear of what's to come
Constantly wishing i was dumb
Constantly wishing i wasn't here
weighed down by the cross i have to bear
I live in freefall
Never knowing where i'll be landing
Never knowing what fate i'll be handed
waiting for the the quicksand of life to claim me
Waiting for the vampires to finally drain me
I live in freefall
Feeling like my life's for rent
feeling my best years are already spent
feeling like there is no meaning
feeling indescribable feelings
I live in freefall
Hating the world that turns
Every cycle seems to burn
wishing i wasn't falling
wishing i was deaf to the angels calling...
Constantly in fear of what's to come
Constantly wishing i was dumb
Constantly wishing i wasn't here
weighed down by the cross i have to bear
I live in freefall
Never knowing where i'll be landing
Never knowing what fate i'll be handed
waiting for the the quicksand of life to claim me
Waiting for the vampires to finally drain me
I live in freefall
Feeling like my life's for rent
feeling my best years are already spent
feeling like there is no meaning
feeling indescribable feelings
I live in freefall
Hating the world that turns
Every cycle seems to burn
wishing i wasn't falling
wishing i was deaf to the angels calling...
Idiot Chick
I don't wanna be that idiot chick
who's so dumb, she's under a mans thumb
& over his dick
I don't really wanna be that chick
who looks up to those below her
coz she's sycophantic
I don't wanna be that idiot chick
who follows fashion coz she's vacuous
& ever so thick
I just wanna be my own chick
i live on my own terms
stretch it like elastic (what)
(verse)
I make my rules but i do not follow em
yes i'm a hypocrite but i'm not the only one
i'm smart enough to act rebelliously
while simultaneously
fooling people i'm sweet
I don't hate, i manipulate
my machevellian streak
has kept me alive to date
but i'm alienated coz i'm not the same
as idiots i tolerate but can't be bothered to name
(chorus)
I don't wanna be that idiot chick (blah)
I'm a fan of rock & I love to play chess
I love countdown
going down on girls I like best
don't stereotype me coz i'm not typical
put me in a box, i'll cuss you off lyrical
call me a weirdo but i'm a human entity
I don't run around & follow dogs like I am a sheep
I go my own way, prefer to lead myself astray
& when i make my own mistakes, i'm the only one to blame
I'll not let some man, pick me up off the street
with promises of a draw in return for my heat
I try not to be rude, & smile ever so sweet
& say trading sex for a draw is the opposite of neat
He says im a long ting so i tell him to dus
he stares in my face like he's looking change for a bus
go go young man I have change to spare
the 73 is a bendy bus
you could pocket the fare
(chorus)
I don't wanna be that idiot chick (blah)
I never let anyone make a fool outta me
that includes friends, acquaintances my own family
I'd rather be alone, then feel the stab in my back
that leaves a scar on my heart, that I know for fact
could of been prevented if I had seen through an act
no matter how i'm let down, i stay completely intact
I'm stronger than i appear, stronger than i seem
stronger then you'd take me for
I dazzle like a dream...
who's so dumb, she's under a mans thumb
& over his dick
I don't really wanna be that chick
who looks up to those below her
coz she's sycophantic
I don't wanna be that idiot chick
who follows fashion coz she's vacuous
& ever so thick
I just wanna be my own chick
i live on my own terms
stretch it like elastic (what)
(verse)
I make my rules but i do not follow em
yes i'm a hypocrite but i'm not the only one
i'm smart enough to act rebelliously
while simultaneously
fooling people i'm sweet
I don't hate, i manipulate
my machevellian streak
has kept me alive to date
but i'm alienated coz i'm not the same
as idiots i tolerate but can't be bothered to name
(chorus)
I don't wanna be that idiot chick (blah)
I'm a fan of rock & I love to play chess
I love countdown
going down on girls I like best
don't stereotype me coz i'm not typical
put me in a box, i'll cuss you off lyrical
call me a weirdo but i'm a human entity
I don't run around & follow dogs like I am a sheep
I go my own way, prefer to lead myself astray
& when i make my own mistakes, i'm the only one to blame
I'll not let some man, pick me up off the street
with promises of a draw in return for my heat
I try not to be rude, & smile ever so sweet
& say trading sex for a draw is the opposite of neat
He says im a long ting so i tell him to dus
he stares in my face like he's looking change for a bus
go go young man I have change to spare
the 73 is a bendy bus
you could pocket the fare
(chorus)
I don't wanna be that idiot chick (blah)
I never let anyone make a fool outta me
that includes friends, acquaintances my own family
I'd rather be alone, then feel the stab in my back
that leaves a scar on my heart, that I know for fact
could of been prevented if I had seen through an act
no matter how i'm let down, i stay completely intact
I'm stronger than i appear, stronger than i seem
stronger then you'd take me for
I dazzle like a dream...
The truth...
The essence of belief is disbelief
Knowing is the ultimate relief
Know is short for knowledge
which we acquire each day
You may make it to college
Getting screwed in 1 way
Institutions can twist the way you think inside
Set the wheels on a ride that causes divide
What's at the top is reflective of whats down below
They've got a war on terror, we got a war on road
Scarce resources plus overcrowding equals shady dealing
The war on iraqi's resources
is nothing but a war on a feeling
Terror...
The truth is protected by the goverments resistence
A new government here/in the states
elected at the peoples insistence
Obama drama, the UK looms in Con-Dem'd existence
AND I STILL CAN'T MOTHER-FUCKING TASTE THE DIFFERENCE!
In the west we have many a distraction
from the fact politicians add nowt
Down here i feel the subtraction
Loss of rights as they flirt with the id card hard
I woudn't even get an oyster coz
i can't flee a crime scene
with a registered card
Injustice continually carved into law
gutter policies that worst inflict the poor
The struggle prevents them from fighting for more
A pleading face is a short cut to a slamming door
Divide & rule has created differentiality
And now we have suffered a loss of originality
We experience religious confusion
As born victims of a god delusion
There is no such thing as divine retribution
so lets give catholic guilt an execution
Letting that fear prop us up like a stem
Is more dangerous then rio's spa, after 5pm
We need to permit our eyes to see that deep
Or risk turning into human sheep
ignorance is never bliss
I'm already living
in a world of lies as it is
living in the stranglehold
of the elitists fist...
Knowing is the ultimate relief
Know is short for knowledge
which we acquire each day
You may make it to college
Getting screwed in 1 way
Institutions can twist the way you think inside
Set the wheels on a ride that causes divide
What's at the top is reflective of whats down below
They've got a war on terror, we got a war on road
Scarce resources plus overcrowding equals shady dealing
The war on iraqi's resources
is nothing but a war on a feeling
Terror...
The truth is protected by the goverments resistence
A new government here/in the states
elected at the peoples insistence
Obama drama, the UK looms in Con-Dem'd existence
AND I STILL CAN'T MOTHER-FUCKING TASTE THE DIFFERENCE!
In the west we have many a distraction
from the fact politicians add nowt
Down here i feel the subtraction
Loss of rights as they flirt with the id card hard
I woudn't even get an oyster coz
i can't flee a crime scene
with a registered card
Injustice continually carved into law
gutter policies that worst inflict the poor
The struggle prevents them from fighting for more
A pleading face is a short cut to a slamming door
Divide & rule has created differentiality
And now we have suffered a loss of originality
We experience religious confusion
As born victims of a god delusion
There is no such thing as divine retribution
so lets give catholic guilt an execution
Letting that fear prop us up like a stem
Is more dangerous then rio's spa, after 5pm
We need to permit our eyes to see that deep
Or risk turning into human sheep
ignorance is never bliss
I'm already living
in a world of lies as it is
living in the stranglehold
of the elitists fist...
Hypocrisy
Hypocrisy
I'm like a lamb to the slaughter
I'm a statistic
I'm the governments daughter
I'm simplistic
because my eyes
see past the lines
I was shaped from
all the things I despise
Religious empires still
colonising minds
Whille I'm emphatically
fighting for mine
I should still be violent
coz thats all i've seen
domestic violence
war coverage on the BBC
Always race or religion
or religion & race
These divisions reveal
the weak nature of our
human face
Brainwashed into a
class mentality
Brainwashed into believing
that is sanity...
I'm like a lamb to the slaughter
I'm a statistic
I'm the governments daughter
I'm simplistic
because my eyes
see past the lines
I was shaped from
all the things I despise
Religious empires still
colonising minds
Whille I'm emphatically
fighting for mine
I should still be violent
coz thats all i've seen
domestic violence
war coverage on the BBC
Always race or religion
or religion & race
These divisions reveal
the weak nature of our
human face
Brainwashed into a
class mentality
Brainwashed into believing
that is sanity...
It is what it is...
There is no blank canvas here
but a structure set in stone
it is what it is don't interfere
appreciate, or leave it alone
You will find no little girl lost
I am already found
I will keep myself no matter the cost
to my soul i'm bound
I'm not looking to be shown the light
I am already aware
I seek solace in the night
its honesty I hold dear
I don't want to be completed
but complimented instead
I won't stand for being mistreated
or any fucking with my head
There is no blank canvas here
but a structure set in stone
it is what it is don't interfere
appreciate, or leave it alone...
but a structure set in stone
it is what it is don't interfere
appreciate, or leave it alone
You will find no little girl lost
I am already found
I will keep myself no matter the cost
to my soul i'm bound
I'm not looking to be shown the light
I am already aware
I seek solace in the night
its honesty I hold dear
I don't want to be completed
but complimented instead
I won't stand for being mistreated
or any fucking with my head
There is no blank canvas here
but a structure set in stone
it is what it is don't interfere
appreciate, or leave it alone...
Numb
Not all the suffering can teach
there are depths no music can reach
Chemicals illicit no reaction
embrace feels like a cold transaction
eyes see only the darkness of thought
A type of blind that can only be taught
mothered by a wall of indifference
engulfed with a survival resistence
offering repentance for a peace within
but forgiveness fails an embodiment of sin
fingers erode on hope as it's clinging
attempting to fight the hearts constant stinging
in the hollow lay the flaws
vicious cycles & closing doors...
there are depths no music can reach
Chemicals illicit no reaction
embrace feels like a cold transaction
eyes see only the darkness of thought
A type of blind that can only be taught
mothered by a wall of indifference
engulfed with a survival resistence
offering repentance for a peace within
but forgiveness fails an embodiment of sin
fingers erode on hope as it's clinging
attempting to fight the hearts constant stinging
in the hollow lay the flaws
vicious cycles & closing doors...
Happiness
The most popular lie is the statement "i'm fine"
Why do we do that, Its such a waste of time
I will buck the trend & say otherwise
I am never happy, today is no time for lies
I am lonely all the time
because no-one understands how I feel inside
momentarily I feel pangs of joy
and when it fades I shift back to a state I don't enjoy
Misery is my unfortunate disposition
but a sunny outlook is my public position
People think i'm happy & thats very easy to see
I'm all about making happy memories
on my death bed i'll see plentiful moments of glee
and probably conclude my life has been quite happy
but i'm not there yet so for now i'll embrace the woe
let it build till the time comes for it to overflow
because you cannot rebuild yourself from the inside
you cannot revive a part of you that has died
So i'll live life constantly in mourning
The truth is i'm too old to start transforming
I'm ok though I don't feel at all depressed
I ignore the demons that have me possessed
with the full knowledge they'll always be there
constantly like the smile i'm forced to wear
Why do we do that, Its such a waste of time
I will buck the trend & say otherwise
I am never happy, today is no time for lies
I am lonely all the time
because no-one understands how I feel inside
momentarily I feel pangs of joy
and when it fades I shift back to a state I don't enjoy
Misery is my unfortunate disposition
but a sunny outlook is my public position
People think i'm happy & thats very easy to see
I'm all about making happy memories
on my death bed i'll see plentiful moments of glee
and probably conclude my life has been quite happy
but i'm not there yet so for now i'll embrace the woe
let it build till the time comes for it to overflow
because you cannot rebuild yourself from the inside
you cannot revive a part of you that has died
So i'll live life constantly in mourning
The truth is i'm too old to start transforming
I'm ok though I don't feel at all depressed
I ignore the demons that have me possessed
with the full knowledge they'll always be there
constantly like the smile i'm forced to wear
The File
I don't have any right to control who reads my life
The file sits amongst others all containing our strife
Pieces of paper can be easily disposed
but that file remains, like an open wound i'm exposed
It can be used for training and read at will
But i've got to ask for permission to read it still
The events of my life don't belong to me
I have absolutely no right to privacy
I don't think i'll ever want to read that file
but the fact strangers can upsets me once in a while
A lower class, my life is there to analyse
as I breathe fast mourning all my severed ties
The file sits amongst others all containing our strife
Pieces of paper can be easily disposed
but that file remains, like an open wound i'm exposed
It can be used for training and read at will
But i've got to ask for permission to read it still
The events of my life don't belong to me
I have absolutely no right to privacy
I don't think i'll ever want to read that file
but the fact strangers can upsets me once in a while
A lower class, my life is there to analyse
as I breathe fast mourning all my severed ties
Untitled
My life seemed to be like an episode of shameless
Seen by the wider world as innately brainless
It's for the fighting & drug taking we are famous
and for that reputation we're not completely blameless
But we don't lack grace & the ghetto's full of braveness
just trapped in the cycles of the poverty that plagues us
But poverty often leads to art destined for greatness
and shines a light on the underclassed nameless...
Seen by the wider world as innately brainless
It's for the fighting & drug taking we are famous
and for that reputation we're not completely blameless
But we don't lack grace & the ghetto's full of braveness
just trapped in the cycles of the poverty that plagues us
But poverty often leads to art destined for greatness
and shines a light on the underclassed nameless...
The secret world of me...
People can know about my life, all the dirt & the grit
But they will never know my feelings about any of it
People ask me questions & answer i try
But i choke on the truth & end up telling a lie
People play with your feelings but the facts just be
I emotionally disengage from shit thats happened to me
I'd rather people think i'm cold & unaffected
I don't want the pain behind my eyes to ever be reflected
I keep my feelings to myself so i can be protected
If i told others about them then i would feel disected
Vulnerability is a bitch i hate to be laid bare
I'm trying to be good in a world where people don't play fair
I like to hide in my depths when i am feeling down
When i open up to someone in my depths they drown
So i'll encapsulate it all though it does me no good
I have often been loved but i've never been understood...
But they will never know my feelings about any of it
People ask me questions & answer i try
But i choke on the truth & end up telling a lie
People play with your feelings but the facts just be
I emotionally disengage from shit thats happened to me
I'd rather people think i'm cold & unaffected
I don't want the pain behind my eyes to ever be reflected
I keep my feelings to myself so i can be protected
If i told others about them then i would feel disected
Vulnerability is a bitch i hate to be laid bare
I'm trying to be good in a world where people don't play fair
I like to hide in my depths when i am feeling down
When i open up to someone in my depths they drown
So i'll encapsulate it all though it does me no good
I have often been loved but i've never been understood...
My favorite quotes...
What is worse than having no sight is being able to see but having no vision.
Helen Keller
Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
Albert Einstein:
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."
"The sun is alone, but it is strong."
-- think Chinese, not sure
"If U are not living on the edge..then...U are taking too much space."
"If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we would be too simple to understand it."
-- developer of Prozac
"The surest protection against temptation is cowardice."
-- Mark Twain
"Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids. :)"
"Everything should be in moderation, including moderation inself."
Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. -- Stella Adler
The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money.
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
Albert Einstein
Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
Albert Einstein
"Expectation is the root cause of all sorrow"-Shilpa Shetty
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.-Alexander Pope
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.
Benjamin Disraeli
Inspiration is for amateurs. I just get to work.-Chuck Close
I go my own way, prefer to lead myself astray and when i make my own mistakes i'm the only one to blame.
There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
Dick Cavett
I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.-Edith Sitwell
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.-Ellen Goodman
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.-Eric Hoffer
A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don’t allow the happy moment, because they’re so busy trying to get a happy life.-Esther Hicks
You can’t get away from yourself by moving from one place to another. There’s nothing to that.-Ernest Hemingway
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because its much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?-George Carlin
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.-George F. Will
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
Henrik Tikkanen
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
Henry David Thoreau
No wise man ever wished to be younger.-Jonathan Swift
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.-Joseph Stalin
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
Wisdom is knowing the right path to take… Integrity is taking it.-M. H. McKee
Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised.
Marilyn Manson
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.-Mark Twain
I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.-Marshall McLuhan
Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.-Nora Ephron
Write drunk, revise sober.-Poet’s Motto- Deserves to be on my list twice!
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost
Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.-Robert Heinlein
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.-Susan Erz
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.-Victor Borge
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.-Willem de Kooning
A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
Thomas Manne
A genius! For 37 years I’ve practised fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!-Pablo Sarasate (Spanish Violinist)
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.-Buddha
I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.-Kurt Cobain
I don’t care what is written or said about me so long as it isn’t true.-Dorothy Parker
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Famous last words
Codeine . . . bourbon.
~~ Tallulah Bankhead, actress, d. December 12, 1968
Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me.
To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
~~ Joan Crawford, actress, d. May 10, 1977
Is it the Fourth?
~~ Thomas Jefferson, US President, d. July 4, 1826
Let's cool it brothers . . .
Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
~~ Malcolm X, Black leader, d. 1966
Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883
Go away. I'm all right.
~~ H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946
Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900
I am innocent, innocent, innocent. Make no mistake about this. I owe society nothing. I am an innocent man and something very wrong is taking place tonight.
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ Lionel Herrera d. May 12, 1993
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies." - Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.
..................I love you.
Spoken to the executioner.
Executed by injection, ....New York.....
~~ Sean Flannagan, d. June 23, 1989.
How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? French fries.
Executed in electric chair in ....Oklahoma.....
~~ James French, d. 1966
..................I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
Executed by injection, ....Oklahoma.....
~~ Thomas J. Grasso, d. March 20, 1995.
Though i understand the interest in how the world began i do not understand why millions are spent trying to find out. I liken it to a crime scene. A murder is committed. 1 week, maybe even 10/20/100 years later you may find some evidence. But after 4.54 billion years? Unlikely. Spend the money on war prevention, Cancer, heart disease, AIDS, Starvation, eradicating poverty & child protection. There will be no world or people working on a 4.54 billion crime scene if these evils get out of control.- Me
Love, resources & humour are all we might need for a decent life.
I am not "proud" to be black because it implies my ascribed characteristics are something to be ashamed of. -Me
Any women can make a mess, but a lady knows how to clean.-Me
You're parents are just 2 people who've had sex. Asolutely anyone can have sex. Sometimes it's just that clinical. Everybody's different.
National pride is the height of stupidy. The world is restrictive enough without these identification barriers. We are part of humanity. Fullstop.
The face is the mask that hides it all-Me
The older you get, the less you know-Me
Never trust anyone who claims to be totally virtuous, it's just not possible. If they are that virtous they are too boring for my time. However, A completely virtous person is such a rarity it could qualify as a mental illness. This would make them interesting.-Me
The best way to stop people giving you advice you do not want is to say "I could die tomorrow". You may have to repeat a couple of times but it always works. In some cases they never try to give you advice again.-Me
If i were to live each day as if it were my last it would take 3 months for me to be either/or; incarcerated, comitted and inevitably... Dead. -Me
"You get a little moody sometimes but I think that's because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up."
— Pat Conroy (The Prince of Tides)
Only a genius can play a fool." -- Michael Rapaport
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for
Bob Marley
.. ..
Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice; I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots.
-- Tupac Shakur....
.. ..
A man, like clay, is molded by his surroundings, he starts to take shape of the beatings and the pounding.
- Biohazard, Urban Discipline....
.. ..
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.
Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life.
Last words on the gallows.
~~ George Engel
(He was one of four executed after the 1886 Haymarket bombing in Chicago)
"come on in-I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in".-Coldplay
"I hurt myself today, to see if i still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. The needle tears a hole the old familiar state. Try to kill it all the way, but i remember everything" Trent Reznor
"Everyone I know, goes away, in the end". Trent Reznor
..........
f you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.....
.. ..
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.....
.. ..
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
..........
A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal.....
.. ..
When you live next to the cemetery you cannot weep for everyone.
"If a man does his best, what else is there?"- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."
- e e cummings (1894-1962)
"Try to learn something about everything and everything about something."
- Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-1895)
"Dancing is silent poetry."- Simonides (556-468bc)
"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."- Salvador Dali (1904-1989)
"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."- Plato (427-347 B.C.)
We have art to save ourselves from the truth." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions."
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."- Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)
"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."- Umberto Eco
"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."- G. B. Burgin
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."- Socrates (470-399 B.C.)
"What do you take me for, an idiot?"- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy
"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty."- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)
"Few things are harder to put up with than a good example."- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"Hell is other people."- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."- Tom Clancy
"Write drunk; edit sober."- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)... (I write drunk-and edit sober. love this quote.)
Imperfection is beauty; madness is genious and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous
than absolutely boring - Marilyn Monroe
Helen Keller
Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
Albert Einstein:
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."
"The sun is alone, but it is strong."
-- think Chinese, not sure
"If U are not living on the edge..then...U are taking too much space."
"If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we would be too simple to understand it."
-- developer of Prozac
"The surest protection against temptation is cowardice."
-- Mark Twain
"Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids. :)"
"Everything should be in moderation, including moderation inself."
Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. -- Stella Adler
The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money.
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
Albert Einstein
Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
Albert Einstein
"Expectation is the root cause of all sorrow"-Shilpa Shetty
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.-Alexander Pope
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.
Benjamin Disraeli
Inspiration is for amateurs. I just get to work.-Chuck Close
I go my own way, prefer to lead myself astray and when i make my own mistakes i'm the only one to blame.
There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
Dick Cavett
I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.-Edith Sitwell
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.-Ellen Goodman
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.-Eric Hoffer
A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don’t allow the happy moment, because they’re so busy trying to get a happy life.-Esther Hicks
You can’t get away from yourself by moving from one place to another. There’s nothing to that.-Ernest Hemingway
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because its much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?-George Carlin
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.-George F. Will
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
Henrik Tikkanen
Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
Henry David Thoreau
No wise man ever wished to be younger.-Jonathan Swift
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.-Joseph Stalin
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
Wisdom is knowing the right path to take… Integrity is taking it.-M. H. McKee
Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised.
Marilyn Manson
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.-Mark Twain
I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.-Marshall McLuhan
Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.-Nora Ephron
Write drunk, revise sober.-Poet’s Motto- Deserves to be on my list twice!
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost
Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.-Robert Heinlein
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.-Susan Erz
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.-Victor Borge
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.-Willem de Kooning
A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
Thomas Manne
A genius! For 37 years I’ve practised fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!-Pablo Sarasate (Spanish Violinist)
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.-Buddha
I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.-Kurt Cobain
I don’t care what is written or said about me so long as it isn’t true.-Dorothy Parker
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Famous last words
Codeine . . . bourbon.
~~ Tallulah Bankhead, actress, d. December 12, 1968
Damn it . . . Don't you dare ask God to help me.
To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.
~~ Joan Crawford, actress, d. May 10, 1977
Is it the Fourth?
~~ Thomas Jefferson, US President, d. July 4, 1826
Let's cool it brothers . . .
Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.
~~ Malcolm X, Black leader, d. 1966
Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.
~~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, d. 1883
Go away. I'm all right.
~~ H. G. Wells, novelist, d. 1946
Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.
~~ Oscar Wilde, writer, d. November 30, 1900
I am innocent, innocent, innocent. Make no mistake about this. I owe society nothing. I am an innocent man and something very wrong is taking place tonight.
Executed by injection, Texas.
~~ Lionel Herrera d. May 12, 1993
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies." - Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.
..................I love you.
Spoken to the executioner.
Executed by injection, ....New York.....
~~ Sean Flannagan, d. June 23, 1989.
How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? French fries.
Executed in electric chair in ....Oklahoma.....
~~ James French, d. 1966
..................I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
Executed by injection, ....Oklahoma.....
~~ Thomas J. Grasso, d. March 20, 1995.
Though i understand the interest in how the world began i do not understand why millions are spent trying to find out. I liken it to a crime scene. A murder is committed. 1 week, maybe even 10/20/100 years later you may find some evidence. But after 4.54 billion years? Unlikely. Spend the money on war prevention, Cancer, heart disease, AIDS, Starvation, eradicating poverty & child protection. There will be no world or people working on a 4.54 billion crime scene if these evils get out of control.- Me
Love, resources & humour are all we might need for a decent life.
I am not "proud" to be black because it implies my ascribed characteristics are something to be ashamed of. -Me
Any women can make a mess, but a lady knows how to clean.-Me
You're parents are just 2 people who've had sex. Asolutely anyone can have sex. Sometimes it's just that clinical. Everybody's different.
National pride is the height of stupidy. The world is restrictive enough without these identification barriers. We are part of humanity. Fullstop.
The face is the mask that hides it all-Me
The older you get, the less you know-Me
Never trust anyone who claims to be totally virtuous, it's just not possible. If they are that virtous they are too boring for my time. However, A completely virtous person is such a rarity it could qualify as a mental illness. This would make them interesting.-Me
The best way to stop people giving you advice you do not want is to say "I could die tomorrow". You may have to repeat a couple of times but it always works. In some cases they never try to give you advice again.-Me
If i were to live each day as if it were my last it would take 3 months for me to be either/or; incarcerated, comitted and inevitably... Dead. -Me
"You get a little moody sometimes but I think that's because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up."
— Pat Conroy (The Prince of Tides)
Only a genius can play a fool." -- Michael Rapaport
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for
Bob Marley
.. ..
Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice; I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots.
-- Tupac Shakur....
.. ..
A man, like clay, is molded by his surroundings, he starts to take shape of the beatings and the pounding.
- Biohazard, Urban Discipline....
.. ..
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.
Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life.
Last words on the gallows.
~~ George Engel
(He was one of four executed after the 1886 Haymarket bombing in Chicago)
"come on in-I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in".-Coldplay
"I hurt myself today, to see if i still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. The needle tears a hole the old familiar state. Try to kill it all the way, but i remember everything" Trent Reznor
"Everyone I know, goes away, in the end". Trent Reznor
..........
f you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.....
.. ..
You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.....
.. ..
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
..........
A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal.....
.. ..
When you live next to the cemetery you cannot weep for everyone.
"If a man does his best, what else is there?"- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."
- e e cummings (1894-1962)
"Try to learn something about everything and everything about something."
- Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-1895)
"Dancing is silent poetry."- Simonides (556-468bc)
"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."- Salvador Dali (1904-1989)
"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."- Plato (427-347 B.C.)
We have art to save ourselves from the truth." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions."
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."- Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)
"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."- Umberto Eco
"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."- G. B. Burgin
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."- Socrates (470-399 B.C.)
"What do you take me for, an idiot?"- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy
"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty."- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)
"Few things are harder to put up with than a good example."- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"Hell is other people."- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."- Tom Clancy
"Write drunk; edit sober."- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)... (I write drunk-and edit sober. love this quote.)
Imperfection is beauty; madness is genious and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous
than absolutely boring - Marilyn Monroe
Please keep hating me
Keep hating me coz it's making me horny
i'm breaking myself off as i'm writing this story
Words can't touch me i'm prickly & thorny
Touch me, you'll bleed and that will be my glory
Hating on me is both fruitless and pathetic
When i hit you back it's both stinging & poetic
So keep hating me, it makes me feel electric
You can want my failure but you're never gonna get it
I'll keep you frozen in time & that will be my will
You'll be going nowhere like a video still
before i decide exactly what i want to spill
So if you take your shot first you best shoot to kill
Hating is the food that helps my vanity grow
So please carry on it's so good for my ego
I must be real special for you to speak my name
ah ah ah ooooooh, yeah bitch i just came!
i'm breaking myself off as i'm writing this story
Words can't touch me i'm prickly & thorny
Touch me, you'll bleed and that will be my glory
Hating on me is both fruitless and pathetic
When i hit you back it's both stinging & poetic
So keep hating me, it makes me feel electric
You can want my failure but you're never gonna get it
I'll keep you frozen in time & that will be my will
You'll be going nowhere like a video still
before i decide exactly what i want to spill
So if you take your shot first you best shoot to kill
Hating is the food that helps my vanity grow
So please carry on it's so good for my ego
I must be real special for you to speak my name
ah ah ah ooooooh, yeah bitch i just came!
Through my eyes
My life is beautiful my life is strange
my life has meaning, my thoughts have range
I'm very calm with a silent rage
I was an adult when i was my kids age
My shadow feels like a guiding light
i have a spirit that know's how to fight
Friends are my family, family are distant
I'm very cautious with blood so i remain resistant
though fate has spoken and brought me back to dad
I feel guilty because my resistance has made him sad
Let's hope we can start anew & the wounds will heal
& he realises money won't take away the guilt he feels
It's funny how money can make you feel so cheap
and in the end what you sow is what you'll reap
Im at ease with darkness though i love the light
I am at ease with pain & have felt love at first sight
It takes a moment to love but many years to hate
before you know it's happening its already too late
I don't hate, because harbouring bitterness inside
is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die
I see great beauty in imperfection
I love the fact i can't be categorised in any particular section
I hate boxes they are lame i give them 0 out of ten
but the only people who don't like boxes are those that don't fit in them
At times i feel vengeful though i've trained my mind
I know that an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind
when someone is mean i let off steam with a night on the town
you might have struck me low but you aint dragging me down
I love feeling lonesome in beautiful places
it's like my footsteps leave no traces
Luckily i have many hideaways where i can just be
they are my little secrets and only for me
I look forward to the day where they will have no use
the more i share the less i will have an excuse
I could write down my thoughts & musings all bloody day
but time is money so i must go if i'm gonna get paid...
my life has meaning, my thoughts have range
I'm very calm with a silent rage
I was an adult when i was my kids age
My shadow feels like a guiding light
i have a spirit that know's how to fight
Friends are my family, family are distant
I'm very cautious with blood so i remain resistant
though fate has spoken and brought me back to dad
I feel guilty because my resistance has made him sad
Let's hope we can start anew & the wounds will heal
& he realises money won't take away the guilt he feels
It's funny how money can make you feel so cheap
and in the end what you sow is what you'll reap
Im at ease with darkness though i love the light
I am at ease with pain & have felt love at first sight
It takes a moment to love but many years to hate
before you know it's happening its already too late
I don't hate, because harbouring bitterness inside
is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die
I see great beauty in imperfection
I love the fact i can't be categorised in any particular section
I hate boxes they are lame i give them 0 out of ten
but the only people who don't like boxes are those that don't fit in them
At times i feel vengeful though i've trained my mind
I know that an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind
when someone is mean i let off steam with a night on the town
you might have struck me low but you aint dragging me down
I love feeling lonesome in beautiful places
it's like my footsteps leave no traces
Luckily i have many hideaways where i can just be
they are my little secrets and only for me
I look forward to the day where they will have no use
the more i share the less i will have an excuse
I could write down my thoughts & musings all bloody day
but time is money so i must go if i'm gonna get paid...
Love tears us apart
So we've started screwing again, no big surprise
but when we try and be together out come the knives
In our harsh enviroment our lust survives
Maybe it's love or maybe it's lies
Can we really separate sex & the heart?
the L-word continually tears us apart
so lets not go there lets focus on the physical
if we made each other happy it would be a miracle
we are both out of love & I think thats best
no expectations no sins to confess
you can do your thing & i'll do mine
If we dont mention "love" we will be just fine
Love brings people together but only tears us apart
we were not meant forever we were doomed from the start
when it's not working it's always hurting
instead of compromising we were always asserting
Damage limitation is the name of this game
our power games only fill us with shame
let's keep it simple because i need you around
we belong with others so lets keep our feet on the ground...
but when we try and be together out come the knives
In our harsh enviroment our lust survives
Maybe it's love or maybe it's lies
Can we really separate sex & the heart?
the L-word continually tears us apart
so lets not go there lets focus on the physical
if we made each other happy it would be a miracle
we are both out of love & I think thats best
no expectations no sins to confess
you can do your thing & i'll do mine
If we dont mention "love" we will be just fine
Love brings people together but only tears us apart
we were not meant forever we were doomed from the start
when it's not working it's always hurting
instead of compromising we were always asserting
Damage limitation is the name of this game
our power games only fill us with shame
let's keep it simple because i need you around
we belong with others so lets keep our feet on the ground...
List of things that annoy me
Primark: It's shit, you know its shit-nothing lasts, NOTHING LASTS. Uniform of the ghetto
Babies/children crying: Its like being repeatedly stabbed in the head with a bradel
Kidulthood: Some guys sis kills herself over bullies. Does he get revenge? No. Does he cry? No. He just walks around.
Febreze: It's expensive. Just wash things.
People who read The Sun: Please don't start a debate with me. You are seriously misinformed.
Draughts: Just play chess.
Being a virgo: It's just not me. I have traits from ALL the zodiac signs.
Worrrying: What happened? Did something happen? Is something about to happen? No. So stop doing it.
People who say; "Make sure you wear a hat in the rain or you'll catch a cold". You don't get ill from rain, you get ill from germs.
G.A.Y: My personal hell.
Ecstacy: I have no problem with it but, i object to the name. Having sex on ecstacy is pointless. You cannot come. So where's the ecstacy?
Men who offer me discounts and then expect: Just because you've given me a 5 pound discount on a wig doesn't mean i'm going to fuck you.
People who say i'm "naughty" because I'm open about enjoying sex: NEWSFLASH! Clitoris+testosterone=sex drive ...or did you mean to say "natural" instead. Fool.
People who get excited/shocked/surprised/astonished at the mundane: You are mundane. What the FUCK is so shocking about the fact i use tampons? (seriously-some idiot saw fit to comment on that).
People who assume I am Jamaican: I am in fact half Jamaican but it's annoying because it implies the following; A: I wear bad weave B: I am homophobic C: I love the feel of a guys erection on my backside in the dancehall. Neither applies.
Yellow pages: You are obsolete because of the internet.
Stupid advertising slogans: I could write a whole blog on this but i'll keep this short & sweet. "Washing machines live longer with calgon". Don't you mean "washing machines LAST longer with calgon". A washing machine does not LIVE. Without electicity, it's an inanimate object.
Passive girls: It's like screwing a blow up doll.
Shaving off half your hair: It doesn't suit you.
Everyone's opinions count: No they don't.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger: No it doesn't.
The best things in life are free: So is syphillis
Love happens when you least expect it: So does cancer. Love is for losers (i am such a loser)
Rubbish lesbian porn: Do you really expect me to believe your getting any pleasure being dug out with six inch nails. Errrm, ouch!
Horoscope compatibility: Every star sign (or should i say sun sign? The sun is a star so fuck it!) has 3 compatible star signs meaning 3 in every 12 people of the sex you're attracted to are your soul mate. I've done the math. If you live in Britain & are attracted to women you have a massive 7.5 million soul mates ready for the taking. So why haven't i eloped yet?... P.S If you are a lesbian it's 500.000 & the "scene" is small. So why haven't i eloped yet?
People who ask me stupid questions: You'll get stupid answers
Expect the unexpected: It's a stupid term. If i were to "expect the unexpected" then the unexpected wouldn't be unexpected at all. It would be expected. The unexpected is something you couldn't fathom to expect. You get me?
Eastenders: Someone gets murdered "whodunnit whodunnit". Someone gets pregnant "who's the daddy". Someone gets ill "how will they cope? Will they survive?". Someone has a secret -all will be revealed at christmas. Its stupid. It is not the real east end. It's for morons.
People who tell you how to raise your kids when they have none: SHUT UP!
People who think having no pubic hair is cool: Your crouch looks 9. It's wrong!
Jeremy Kyle: Sanctimonious dick.
Selling your virginity: I hate you people because i wish i'd thought of it first.
Manipulative people who are rubbish at it: It's an insult to my intelligence. However, if you're any good...
Fake dreads: Your hair looks like a fucking mop.
When a fly comes into my house: Do you pay rent? No. PISS OFF!
People who are proud of being ignorant: I have been to the forest today & picked some VERY special (by special i mean poisonous) mushrooms... How about you come to mines for dinner. I promise, you'll never feel hungry again (muhahahaha)
Our rent officer: If i was a dude i'd tell her to suck my...
Fromage frais: It's yogurt.
Thongs: If you wanna see my arse you're gonna have to take my knickers off.
People who see tattoo's as a form of self harm: Beauty is pain... You fucking donkey.
Cotton wool: Makes my teeth hurt
Above inflation price rises: I will shoplift.
"You can't have your cake & eat it too": What's the point of having a cake if you're not going to eat it?
People who think they know everything about life, yet they still live with their mummy.
People (men) who whistle to get my attention: I am not a dog.
How myspace has "impervious" as a mood, but not moany.
Uniqlo: It's a Japanese GAP
American Apparel: It's a colourful GAP
GAP: Is boring
Big Lip Surgery: You look like anything...
Cheap perfume: Smells like air freshener
Monroe piercing: Looks like snot (on most people)
Guinea pigs, gerbils, hamsters: Are rats.
Half ton son, half ton mum, half ton's worth of indifference from me.
The smiley with sunglasses on. What does one use it for? The most stupid smiley ever.
Doormen who won't let me into a club sans passport: A: I'm not getting on a plane you dickhead. B: You've seen my passport numerous times you dickhead. C: I'm probably older than you-you DICKHEAD!
People who describe me as a "weirdo" due to how i look & think: I'm special so-PISS OFF!
Spending the last of my cash on something i didn't need, then losing it.
The term term "mo money mo problems": You have alot more without it.
Babies/children crying: Its like being repeatedly stabbed in the head with a bradel
Kidulthood: Some guys sis kills herself over bullies. Does he get revenge? No. Does he cry? No. He just walks around.
Febreze: It's expensive. Just wash things.
People who read The Sun: Please don't start a debate with me. You are seriously misinformed.
Draughts: Just play chess.
Being a virgo: It's just not me. I have traits from ALL the zodiac signs.
Worrrying: What happened? Did something happen? Is something about to happen? No. So stop doing it.
People who say; "Make sure you wear a hat in the rain or you'll catch a cold". You don't get ill from rain, you get ill from germs.
G.A.Y: My personal hell.
Ecstacy: I have no problem with it but, i object to the name. Having sex on ecstacy is pointless. You cannot come. So where's the ecstacy?
Men who offer me discounts and then expect: Just because you've given me a 5 pound discount on a wig doesn't mean i'm going to fuck you.
People who say i'm "naughty" because I'm open about enjoying sex: NEWSFLASH! Clitoris+testosterone=sex drive ...or did you mean to say "natural" instead. Fool.
People who get excited/shocked/surprised/astonished at the mundane: You are mundane. What the FUCK is so shocking about the fact i use tampons? (seriously-some idiot saw fit to comment on that).
People who assume I am Jamaican: I am in fact half Jamaican but it's annoying because it implies the following; A: I wear bad weave B: I am homophobic C: I love the feel of a guys erection on my backside in the dancehall. Neither applies.
Yellow pages: You are obsolete because of the internet.
Stupid advertising slogans: I could write a whole blog on this but i'll keep this short & sweet. "Washing machines live longer with calgon". Don't you mean "washing machines LAST longer with calgon". A washing machine does not LIVE. Without electicity, it's an inanimate object.
Passive girls: It's like screwing a blow up doll.
Shaving off half your hair: It doesn't suit you.
Everyone's opinions count: No they don't.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger: No it doesn't.
The best things in life are free: So is syphillis
Love happens when you least expect it: So does cancer. Love is for losers (i am such a loser)
Rubbish lesbian porn: Do you really expect me to believe your getting any pleasure being dug out with six inch nails. Errrm, ouch!
Horoscope compatibility: Every star sign (or should i say sun sign? The sun is a star so fuck it!) has 3 compatible star signs meaning 3 in every 12 people of the sex you're attracted to are your soul mate. I've done the math. If you live in Britain & are attracted to women you have a massive 7.5 million soul mates ready for the taking. So why haven't i eloped yet?... P.S If you are a lesbian it's 500.000 & the "scene" is small. So why haven't i eloped yet?
People who ask me stupid questions: You'll get stupid answers
Expect the unexpected: It's a stupid term. If i were to "expect the unexpected" then the unexpected wouldn't be unexpected at all. It would be expected. The unexpected is something you couldn't fathom to expect. You get me?
Eastenders: Someone gets murdered "whodunnit whodunnit". Someone gets pregnant "who's the daddy". Someone gets ill "how will they cope? Will they survive?". Someone has a secret -all will be revealed at christmas. Its stupid. It is not the real east end. It's for morons.
People who tell you how to raise your kids when they have none: SHUT UP!
People who think having no pubic hair is cool: Your crouch looks 9. It's wrong!
Jeremy Kyle: Sanctimonious dick.
Selling your virginity: I hate you people because i wish i'd thought of it first.
Manipulative people who are rubbish at it: It's an insult to my intelligence. However, if you're any good...
Fake dreads: Your hair looks like a fucking mop.
When a fly comes into my house: Do you pay rent? No. PISS OFF!
People who are proud of being ignorant: I have been to the forest today & picked some VERY special (by special i mean poisonous) mushrooms... How about you come to mines for dinner. I promise, you'll never feel hungry again (muhahahaha)
Our rent officer: If i was a dude i'd tell her to suck my...
Fromage frais: It's yogurt.
Thongs: If you wanna see my arse you're gonna have to take my knickers off.
People who see tattoo's as a form of self harm: Beauty is pain... You fucking donkey.
Cotton wool: Makes my teeth hurt
Above inflation price rises: I will shoplift.
"You can't have your cake & eat it too": What's the point of having a cake if you're not going to eat it?
People who think they know everything about life, yet they still live with their mummy.
People (men) who whistle to get my attention: I am not a dog.
How myspace has "impervious" as a mood, but not moany.
Uniqlo: It's a Japanese GAP
American Apparel: It's a colourful GAP
GAP: Is boring
Big Lip Surgery: You look like anything...
Cheap perfume: Smells like air freshener
Monroe piercing: Looks like snot (on most people)
Guinea pigs, gerbils, hamsters: Are rats.
Half ton son, half ton mum, half ton's worth of indifference from me.
The smiley with sunglasses on. What does one use it for? The most stupid smiley ever.
Doormen who won't let me into a club sans passport: A: I'm not getting on a plane you dickhead. B: You've seen my passport numerous times you dickhead. C: I'm probably older than you-you DICKHEAD!
People who describe me as a "weirdo" due to how i look & think: I'm special so-PISS OFF!
Spending the last of my cash on something i didn't need, then losing it.
The term term "mo money mo problems": You have alot more without it.
When he was gone...
When he was gone you saw your smile
you found the self you'd lost for a while
applied some make up fixed your hair
but staring at your beauty was too much to bear
for your not permitted to look this way
what if he see's you, what would he say?
"Slag, hooker, harlot, whore"
pull at your hair smash your face in a door
"your fucking someone else" his usual roar
then half hour later "its you i adore"
When he was gone you saw your lost pride
you then saw your shame & wanted to hide
Then you wanted to hide, but you had to run first
Because a life with him would forever be cursed
So you packed your things as you could see
self salvation meant leaving was key
You broke down & started to weep
One more night with him & he'd be dead in his sleep
you could take no more something had to give
time to step out the door for a life you can live
you found the self you'd lost for a while
applied some make up fixed your hair
but staring at your beauty was too much to bear
for your not permitted to look this way
what if he see's you, what would he say?
"Slag, hooker, harlot, whore"
pull at your hair smash your face in a door
"your fucking someone else" his usual roar
then half hour later "its you i adore"
When he was gone you saw your lost pride
you then saw your shame & wanted to hide
Then you wanted to hide, but you had to run first
Because a life with him would forever be cursed
So you packed your things as you could see
self salvation meant leaving was key
You broke down & started to weep
One more night with him & he'd be dead in his sleep
you could take no more something had to give
time to step out the door for a life you can live
Living in a fairytale world
I feel so old
If the truth be told
I'm fed up of playing
fuck the game i fold
I'm bored of sanity
I'm bored of reality
I want a fairytale
I wanna live in a fantasy
I wanna be sleeping beauty awoken with a kiss
I wanna believe that mermaids exist
I want that custom made slipper that only fits me
I wanna live ever after happily
Like a fairytale, life started out in the grime
And they only ever happen once upon a time
I'm like Cinderella though you'll never see me in rags
I love good shoes, parties & smoking fags
Though i could never get home by 12 thats crazy
I'll be a pumpkin on the night bus-someone will eat me!
without pain no pleasure, without work no leisure
All i need now is the quest so i can find that treasure
If the truth be told
I'm fed up of playing
fuck the game i fold
I'm bored of sanity
I'm bored of reality
I want a fairytale
I wanna live in a fantasy
I wanna be sleeping beauty awoken with a kiss
I wanna believe that mermaids exist
I want that custom made slipper that only fits me
I wanna live ever after happily
Like a fairytale, life started out in the grime
And they only ever happen once upon a time
I'm like Cinderella though you'll never see me in rags
I love good shoes, parties & smoking fags
Though i could never get home by 12 thats crazy
I'll be a pumpkin on the night bus-someone will eat me!
without pain no pleasure, without work no leisure
All i need now is the quest so i can find that treasure
I am done with you...
You've destroyed all my childhood pictures you fucking raas
you can take a long jump before you kiss my arse
why the hell didn't you just give them away?
there are others who would appreciate me as a babe
I never ever wanted to be your daughter
in all honesty i would have rather been slaughtered
you really shoulda mother fucking had me aborted
Your right, i should not exist, let that truth be reported
Because of you, i sincerly mourn
the women i am now isn't the girl that was born
I shoulda been light, fluffy, naive & cool
but i'm the girl who used to rob people up in my school
you let your men abuse me with no remorse in your soul
you let them beat you up & steal your dole
YOU let that happen, that much is true
coz when they were abusing me they wernt abusing you
Always tryna steal someones man and for what?
Flossing with your mini-skirts thinking your hot
You called me an ugly child because i'm black like my dad
now i'm a beautiful women & it makes you mad!
Dark skinned, gap toothed bow-legged whats new?
I'm still unanimously an enhancement on you
Your a horrible women & you'll die alone
when you get old we are sticking you in a home
you can live out your days steaming in hate
We dont care we'll abandon you to your eventual fate
so stop making the family pity you coz you got time to fill
you have never met my children & you never will
I've been stabbed, bitten nearly drowned & burnt
and you never felt an ounce of guilt for causing that hurt
I won't be there on your deathbed or there when you die
I won't be at your funeral, i'm gonna get high
I pity you because i don't love you at all
you've never been there to catch me when i fall
so now i never fall & it's made me so fucking tough
I resent that strengh/no-one has to be THAT tough
So don't call me no more to you i am dead
to me you are dead, get that in your fucking head
If i was you i'd mail this to you but i'm not
I really want you to heal... I want that alot
So i am done, and that will be how it stays
For your childrens sake i hope you mend your wicked ways...
you can take a long jump before you kiss my arse
why the hell didn't you just give them away?
there are others who would appreciate me as a babe
I never ever wanted to be your daughter
in all honesty i would have rather been slaughtered
you really shoulda mother fucking had me aborted
Your right, i should not exist, let that truth be reported
Because of you, i sincerly mourn
the women i am now isn't the girl that was born
I shoulda been light, fluffy, naive & cool
but i'm the girl who used to rob people up in my school
you let your men abuse me with no remorse in your soul
you let them beat you up & steal your dole
YOU let that happen, that much is true
coz when they were abusing me they wernt abusing you
Always tryna steal someones man and for what?
Flossing with your mini-skirts thinking your hot
You called me an ugly child because i'm black like my dad
now i'm a beautiful women & it makes you mad!
Dark skinned, gap toothed bow-legged whats new?
I'm still unanimously an enhancement on you
Your a horrible women & you'll die alone
when you get old we are sticking you in a home
you can live out your days steaming in hate
We dont care we'll abandon you to your eventual fate
so stop making the family pity you coz you got time to fill
you have never met my children & you never will
I've been stabbed, bitten nearly drowned & burnt
and you never felt an ounce of guilt for causing that hurt
I won't be there on your deathbed or there when you die
I won't be at your funeral, i'm gonna get high
I pity you because i don't love you at all
you've never been there to catch me when i fall
so now i never fall & it's made me so fucking tough
I resent that strengh/no-one has to be THAT tough
So don't call me no more to you i am dead
to me you are dead, get that in your fucking head
If i was you i'd mail this to you but i'm not
I really want you to heal... I want that alot
So i am done, and that will be how it stays
For your childrens sake i hope you mend your wicked ways...
Girl in the corner
Girl in the corner
Don't you ever cry
Don't ever set out to
Expose our lies
Girl in the corner
Don't you shed a tear
Don't ever seek our love
Don't come near
The girl in the corner
is just a child
who was born
only to be defiled
The girl in the corner
is living in fear
she can't shed a tear
Silently suffering there...
Don't you ever cry
Don't ever set out to
Expose our lies
Girl in the corner
Don't you shed a tear
Don't ever seek our love
Don't come near
The girl in the corner
is just a child
who was born
only to be defiled
The girl in the corner
is living in fear
she can't shed a tear
Silently suffering there...
Contrast
Sun is out shining & I feel irritated
nothing ever goes the way, you've anticipated
So used to dodging bullets i no longer sit still
I'm just increasing the hollow nothing useful can fill
I want it to rain, because i'm like the sea
So deep, so still despite, what lies beneath
Like a shark i have to move if i wanna stay breathing
Always got to leave coz my passion is heaving
It's all old news, thats people thats life
so like back in the day i sit & i write
nothing ever changes but things are ever evolving
i'm involving all consuming with the problems im solving
I now look to the sky & realise the sun is not taunting
it want's me to smile, it wants to stop my haunting
I'ts starting to work...yeah, life is what you make
So i'm off to the south bank for a therapeutic skate
nothing ever goes the way, you've anticipated
So used to dodging bullets i no longer sit still
I'm just increasing the hollow nothing useful can fill
I want it to rain, because i'm like the sea
So deep, so still despite, what lies beneath
Like a shark i have to move if i wanna stay breathing
Always got to leave coz my passion is heaving
It's all old news, thats people thats life
so like back in the day i sit & i write
nothing ever changes but things are ever evolving
i'm involving all consuming with the problems im solving
I now look to the sky & realise the sun is not taunting
it want's me to smile, it wants to stop my haunting
I'ts starting to work...yeah, life is what you make
So i'm off to the south bank for a therapeutic skate
A Ghetto Fairytale
A fairytale in the ghetto exists only in the mind
Your mind can be free but that body's intertwined
With the grit, the dirt-murky shadow's from your past
Shackled to a life of poverty, there is no aftermath
A ghetto fairytale is contradictory to the ideal
just because i have dreams doesn't mean I won't steal
I'm hungry, i'm needy, i'm starved so i'm greedy
I'm strong, i'm cute but that doesn't stop me bleeding
Fairytale's are a mind fuck-give em to charity
Between those fables & my life there's a huge disparity
The fact i can't bring them closer, surely a calamity...
How do i turn fantasy into a reality?
Your mind can be free but that body's intertwined
With the grit, the dirt-murky shadow's from your past
Shackled to a life of poverty, there is no aftermath
A ghetto fairytale is contradictory to the ideal
just because i have dreams doesn't mean I won't steal
I'm hungry, i'm needy, i'm starved so i'm greedy
I'm strong, i'm cute but that doesn't stop me bleeding
Fairytale's are a mind fuck-give em to charity
Between those fables & my life there's a huge disparity
The fact i can't bring them closer, surely a calamity...
How do i turn fantasy into a reality?
The East London I know...
..
I left East London, even though it begged me to stay
coz i was rotting inside out from all the urban decay
I remember having nothing good in every way
cheating a system i couldn't beat to pass the time of day
I remember meeting mother in the Dss
embarassed by her tacky weave and her little girls dress
I see youths congregating outside the courtroom
their hype running low as they feel their judgement loom
When I did bad things i felt a sense of energy
When i had to be productive all i felt was lethargy
There was none of that loving wholesome Walton shit
my whole life was keeping bear mans off of my clit
I hypothesised a life of being stigmatised
did drugs & crime with a refusal to compromise
in the backdrop of those crumbling streets
Every positive thing you own your enviroment deletes
I left East London, even though it begged me to stay
coz i was rotting inside out from all the urban decay
I remember having nothing good in every way
cheating a system i couldn't beat to pass the time of day
I remember meeting mother in the Dss
embarassed by her tacky weave and her little girls dress
I see youths congregating outside the courtroom
their hype running low as they feel their judgement loom
When I did bad things i felt a sense of energy
When i had to be productive all i felt was lethargy
There was none of that loving wholesome Walton shit
my whole life was keeping bear mans off of my clit
I hypothesised a life of being stigmatised
did drugs & crime with a refusal to compromise
in the backdrop of those crumbling streets
Every positive thing you own your enviroment deletes
Daddy was a rockstar
Growing up, daddy was a big rockstar
The type with no songs, no guitar
He played a white rock at the end of a pipe
till it played him then out went the light
it made him a man who thought all was alright
even when it wasnt, just made him lose sight
of the fact that reassurance won't come from the white
but he was deaf to me, high as a kite
thats coz, daddy was a big rockstar
when he didn't have the rocks he had the minibar
done been disowned by my grandmama
coz his actions sent her sick to the ER
he never gave a shit, just cursed in patois
just lacked in manners, mister faux pas
his manners got me bullied but he never knew
coz her had a fluffy white cloud obscuring his view
Sometimes we were hungry, taken in and out of care
its called care but with us no-one bother dare
institutions to & fro, a lost identity nowhere to go
it was called care but boy did we bleed
just left rotting away from our seed
then daddy got us
coz he thought he lost us
took us to score, once more
that was torturous
coz we knew, once more was before the next score
while me & sis
Had the chore of stealing from the store
we did it, to enable his next fix
one step away from us out there turning tricks
Deep down we knew he wouldn't do us that bad
mum was schitszo so he was all that we had
but crack was more important to him then being a dad
tho we always felt loved which just made it more sad
thats coz
My daddy was a big rockstar
whenever he was high he'd play that song fast car
& make promises that broke & left a scar
i prayed so hard for that fictional fast car
so we could leave his cracked out arse & go far
leave him fraternising with the dealers at a bar
but to leave him now would be dreadful
his soul windows were hollow, he was pitiful
underneath the mask my dad soul was beautiful
so we stayed looked after him totally wishing...
That he'd be the dad we loved, cheerful & playful
but he continued to be, disgraceful & woeful
so we lost faith in him & took care of us
when he'd beg us for money, we'd tell him to dus!
but we still looked out for him coz we loved him dearly
he'd try to get clean, but only managed nearly
thats coz
My daddy was a big rockstar
if he never met the rocks he would have gone so far
bad he had, so we had to recreate our legacy
achieving all the best things would be our destiny
so we worked hard, got into the top universities
but we kept looking back
we couldn't leave behind dad
He'd kept us warm in the cold, with his comforting hold
& because he was our daddy we could never let him go.
The type with no songs, no guitar
He played a white rock at the end of a pipe
till it played him then out went the light
it made him a man who thought all was alright
even when it wasnt, just made him lose sight
of the fact that reassurance won't come from the white
but he was deaf to me, high as a kite
thats coz, daddy was a big rockstar
when he didn't have the rocks he had the minibar
done been disowned by my grandmama
coz his actions sent her sick to the ER
he never gave a shit, just cursed in patois
just lacked in manners, mister faux pas
his manners got me bullied but he never knew
coz her had a fluffy white cloud obscuring his view
Sometimes we were hungry, taken in and out of care
its called care but with us no-one bother dare
institutions to & fro, a lost identity nowhere to go
it was called care but boy did we bleed
just left rotting away from our seed
then daddy got us
coz he thought he lost us
took us to score, once more
that was torturous
coz we knew, once more was before the next score
while me & sis
Had the chore of stealing from the store
we did it, to enable his next fix
one step away from us out there turning tricks
Deep down we knew he wouldn't do us that bad
mum was schitszo so he was all that we had
but crack was more important to him then being a dad
tho we always felt loved which just made it more sad
thats coz
My daddy was a big rockstar
whenever he was high he'd play that song fast car
& make promises that broke & left a scar
i prayed so hard for that fictional fast car
so we could leave his cracked out arse & go far
leave him fraternising with the dealers at a bar
but to leave him now would be dreadful
his soul windows were hollow, he was pitiful
underneath the mask my dad soul was beautiful
so we stayed looked after him totally wishing...
That he'd be the dad we loved, cheerful & playful
but he continued to be, disgraceful & woeful
so we lost faith in him & took care of us
when he'd beg us for money, we'd tell him to dus!
but we still looked out for him coz we loved him dearly
he'd try to get clean, but only managed nearly
thats coz
My daddy was a big rockstar
if he never met the rocks he would have gone so far
bad he had, so we had to recreate our legacy
achieving all the best things would be our destiny
so we worked hard, got into the top universities
but we kept looking back
we couldn't leave behind dad
He'd kept us warm in the cold, with his comforting hold
& because he was our daddy we could never let him go.
Prozac Rap
Here i am dazed on prozac
proving my talent spitting on this track
to survive in this world some peeps attack
but attack me & you'll get a fucking smack
i'll pick your pockets, like a cleptomaniac
you call it teefing i call it cashback
thats my compensation
for living in a nation
where there's no consideration
for my right not to be preyed on
Marvin Gaye said "whats going on"
but i don't know so i stay positive like a proton
i used to be more violent than a rabid dog
i had that red mist, couldn't see through the fog
it got me nowhere so now i go out for a jog
instead of my fists i use dialogue
& this right here is my soliloquy
& i hope i'm taken seriously
coz back in the day when i was on the mic
mans would approach me in ways i did not like
i didn't like that outright disrespect
& i lost my bottle in retrospect
i thought getting back on the mic would be murder
but natural talent needs very little nurture
i've come back with no pseudonym
no need for random letters like an acronym
my mother gave me 2 things none of them lame
the first was manners, the second was a great name
i'm greatful for what i've got & what what i lack
it's turned on my thirst for knowledge like an afrodisiac
i taught myself alot about black history
was empowered by Malcom's take on black coffee
& that speech
the ballot or the bullet
truly profound was the best way i could put it
it inspired me to get a little better each day
& accept i can't be perfect coz i'm bound to stray
i overcome my issues with a smile in style
without going on dumb shows like Jeremy Kyle
if your hostil;e vile fertile & idiotic
show yourself on TV high on the chronic
wearing clothes that you slept in the night before
while this prick yells advice that you'll ignore
this is it, the modern day freakshow
parade yourself on daytime tv aspiring low
show the world that you really aint going nowhere
with cheap makeup and greasy hair
these are some of the reasons that i despair
sometimes i wish i could out of the living nightmare
but not always
sometimes you've got to grin
so i'll be in the pub grinning with a cheeky gin
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