Why, Not, Nothing?

13.9 billion years ago
We don’t know precisely what happened
Only that, the universe began expanding
And at that point, our collective fate was handed
To share in an existence where we are all demanding

To get a brain and a body
Designed by physics or a deity
And if this was so exquisitely designed
I’d love the deity to grace our societies

Observe the fruit from its seed of creativity
Reveal true prophecy, relieve our anxieties
And where it came from is what I would mention, because
Every existential answer is a rhetorical question
And now we are in session

There is no magic wand
A hymn is just a song
In this universe of matter
And chemical bonds

To believe in a creator would insult my intelligence
Creating what’s always been does not make any sense
Is man that egotistical to believe?
That universe is something man could ever achieve
No being could be that supreme

There’s string theory, the goldilocks paradox
A nuclear configuration of atoms and cells
A superior alternative to the god hypothesis
But just like sex, religion sells

We are hungry both physically and spiritually
Who would create that hunger, those needs to feed?
Would any creator need to sow that seed?
Why anything at all?
WHY. NOT. NOTHING.

Something has lead to questions
With unobtainable answers
Neither prayer nor study
Makes those answers come any faster

Both symbiotic and parallel
The universe has us gravitated under a spell
It started with a bang and so do we
We need oxygen and so giveth the tree

I’m spinning in this monsters ball
Torn asunder, I was born to wonder
But would any answer
Ever break my fall?

Or provide me with comfort and solace
Reduce my fears of getting old and shopping at Wallis
Explain how bad events often bind us together
And why people blame god
When its nothing but weather

Tectonic plate friction causes tsunami’s and earthquakes
Friction in society breeds violence and mistakes
We are drawn to things that both kill and sustain
Like the love we seek that often causes so much pain

It’s all relative EMC (SQUARED)
We’re all related but still haven’t learnt to share

A collectively diverse nation, stars in a constellation
Ready to rise but now I’ve run out of patience
Sick of awaiting a consciousness renaissance
And witnessing destruction caused by chasing a status

Environmentally and socially we are on a course to hinder
When we could save lives like Schindler
Be perfect all the time, do everything right
And still get struck by a meteorite!

So the big question remains, why are we here?
From molecules to matter, I don’t care
I enjoy the wonder and the mystery
as well as keeping upto date with new discoveries

But, when I think about it analytically
It’s a 14 billion year old crime scene
Though contemplating existence
is my brains favourite toy
The evidence of origin
Must have long been destroyed.

An Altered State

I'm Killing myself softly
but not with a song
as I draw in sustenance
from the end of a bong

I'm elevated chemically
but
am I smoking it or is it smoking me?



I like to pace myself with weed
then when it's time for action
there's, speed speed speed!

Does living fast mean I'll die young
is fun a substitute for the fact I never won

It's been years since I've been on a plane
so the chemicals provide the release that I crave
though I have much more to gain
from never being that chemicals slave

but still a slave i am
for lack of a better plan
I'm one of the damned
I'm one of the damned

That get to bear witness to their self destruction
I'm all too self aware, but I need to function

like...

when I'm out at some club
I've got my vodka, cider, shots and rum
if I'm not stumbling then it's no fun
and my belly's rumbling from the damage I've done

I like being drunk, is that controversial?
I wash away all my drunken sins with Persil
and recover in rapid time
with a little help from GlaxoSmithKline
Though I'm aware that's killing me too
eventually the prophecy is gonna come true

How do I choose with an ambivalent voice
I will lose because I know I've made the wrong choice

I'm killing myself softly
but not with a song
I've realized
the drugs have had me all along
It was coded into my genes
to get fucked off my face via any means

It was destiny, it was fate
to prefer living life in an altered state

I want to resist
but I don't know how
I was high when I wrote this
and I'm high right now...

Trouble...

They come, they go
weaving in and out my life
anger, tears
trouble & strife
being in love with love
and angered by my ways
because i won't
fall in love in a day
their self worth
somehow my responsibility
and because of my mask
they fail to see my fragility

then they wonder
why i let things die
it's coz when i was laughing
they couldn't hear me cry...

The damage a man can do (will write soon)

Pain+Strength= a Decrease in Humanity

Strength has kept me here
which begs a question
with an answer I fear
more than depression

There are dots missing
in this picture
and even at my lowest
i'm loathe
to turn to scripture

or turn to anyone
for fear of being shunned
I just trust myself to do
what needs to be done

but that single minded
mentality
has lead me to believe
I've lost my humanity

humanity is weakness
our soul laid bear
I've lost that
i fear i'm beyond repair

there's pain that's real
and pain percieved
many feelings are just
inaccessible to me

So I play along
with a repetoire
of songs
a carefully constucted way
of getting along

Of course i hurt
of course I cry
a moments release
as feelings quickly die

Then all i have left
is my strength in the cold
another way of saying
i'm bereft of soul

In my humble opinion...

The stronger you are
the more numb you become
getting abused
stops feeling like a
hit and run

for who can a man be
without limitaions
without a breaking point
without the need for salvation

just a shell of a man
who pretends to be

who once felt the burn
vulnerability

Just a shell of a man
a desperate wannabe

i wish i'd lost my mind
instead
of my humanity...

Never saved her...

She'd pray
A thousand ave Marias
hoping a spirit would
take pity & heal her
but it's hard to hear
an emaciated soul
in truth
they just
couldn't feel her...

Untitled

I don't seek to inspire
I don't assume I have a voice
I'm without free will
I don't pretend I have a choice

I'm faithless to the core
I have slammed that door
and furthermore
I don't believe in anything, anymore

I don't believe in belief
to believe is to doubt
I either know or I don't
evidence is paramount

I don't believe in trust
because I can't read minds
it's a silly human game
for which i have no time

the trust game hurts
when its designed to protect
and ends up destroying
what it's meant to correct

It's nonsense
because all you've done
is provided bullets
should they ever need
to use that gun...